From Where I Stand

It seems to me that everything influences . . .  well, everything. I make choices constantly, we all do, and these choices help alter the outcomes.

Good or Bad, I take them all.

They shape me into who I will be, whether 5 minutes from now or 5 years into the future. Point is, I take them all and embrace them.

In April of 2011, I made a conscious decision to be bold, to be daring, to put myself out there, to do something purely for myself. The events that have transpired since then, have immensly changed my life. Truly, there are no words to describe the amazing journey it’s been. All I know is that I’m truly grateful for many things, to many people, but mostly to myself for taking that one very important step.

I’ve met some of the most wonderfully spectacular beings and I continue to meet more and more special like-minded people, all of who, in one way or another, whether in the most simplest way or ground-shaking manner, have touched my soul.

One of the biggest moments I experienced, was growing from a group of friends who shared spiritual journeys together to forming an official coven. All the time we’ve spent together as friends and as coveners means the world to me. I have grown, I have learned, and I have been able to share intimate moments with them. For those special times, I am thankful. They will never truly know how much they have each impacted my life. How they’ve changed the way I approach friendships. And so much more! But I am, in all sincerity, thankful to all of them.

The time has come to go on my own again, speaking specifically about the coven. I faced a very scarry moment, and trusted wholeheartedly that they would all understand and support me once I announced that I would be stepping out on my own into a solitary path once more. I will still maintain those friendships, for they are more than friendships. They are bonds of a spiritual family that are as meaningful as those of blood relatives or perhaps even more. And I expressed to them how I would still be honored if they would allow me to occasionally celebrate some Sabbats or Esbats with them. I hope they are able to see that my time had arrived. I was given everything I needed to be able to move forward and continue the divine path I currently walk. It seems a bit selfish, but it truly isn’t. This is a moment that all who experience joining a coven, must come to and at some point, identify when it is time to go or when to continue growing with that spiritual family.

So from where I stand, the sweet smell of the goddess continues to light the way as I travel to enlightenment. From where I stand, the bonds we formed will always be with me, helping me continue to learn and grow. From where I stand, the mysteries are being revealed. From where I stand . . .

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Visions: a waking dream and flight of a black bird

I recently had an intense experience that now lingers in my head. It surrounds my moments of tranquility and appears vividly in my minds eye. This moment was overwhelming and intense but not in a bad way. I wasn’t frightenend or uneasy, but rather focused and almost in aw of what I was seeing. I believe that a waking dream is an emotionally charged event that stands apart from the rest of your day. Each waking dream in our life is divine. They are created for our spiritual growth. That said, this is what occurred . . .

Several nights ago I lived through this particular moment of what I am now calling a waking dream, although I had not yet fallen asleep. I got into bed, turned off the lights and started to get comfortable with my blanket and pillow when a red light captured my attention. I looked over at the light and saw two eyes, a woman’s eyes. I began to focus my vision and allow my eyes to adjust to the darkness in the room. Was I seeing things?

Once my eyes adjusted, I could clearly see, there was no mistake. It was a woman’s eyes. At first it appeared to be the eyes of a woman who’s face is covered by a Saree, but as I continued to examine, the woman was only wearing a mantle over her head without covering her face. I was still confused and in disbelief of what I was witnessing. My rational brain began to take over and so I did the logical thing to do. I began rubbing my eyes. Then I covered one eye to look and then the other eye, but the image was still very clear right in front of me. Once I realized it wasn’t my vision, I relaxed a bit and continued looking back at the eyes that were utterly fixed on mine. Now an amazing thing started to occur. The eyes and face of this woman began to transform into what looked like a black dog or a wolf. I was puzzled. Who was this? Why was I seeing this? A message no doubt, but what could it be? The image of the wolf/dog’s face morphed back to the woman’s and then back to the wolf and back to the woman and it continued happening for a few seconds before it remained as the woman. Those eyes!  Needless to say, I eventually turned to my side and fell asleep.

The next morning, the first thing to come to mind was what I had witnessed, and thus began my investigation. I searched the web for a connection between a female deity, a goddess, and a wolf or dog. I immediately found that the goddess Hecate was connected/associated with dogs and is sometimes depicted wearing a mantle over her head.

Thus far, it could quite possibly be this vision is of Hecate. She is among other things a goddess of crossroads and transitions. Something I am currently experiencing in my life. My search continues . . .

In some readings, I noted that crows are also sometimes associated with Hecate. Now it’s beginning to come together. Last November (2011) I had my first encounter with a crow. Having never seen one, other than on television, I experienced a very out-of-the-ordinary moment with a crow. As I was exiting a parking lot and moving slowly across the isles of parked cars, a crow decided to fly down from where ever he was and land on the hood of my car, then immediately swoop upward to perch on a stop sign just to the right of me. I stopped, and I looked over at him. It was indeed a crow! I couldn’t not believe my eyes! A crow! This was a very exciting moment for me. I saw a crow! Later I found out that crows are associated with messages. And thus I took it as that. A message.

After this encounter, I continued to have many others with crows. I was seeing crows everywhere, flying over my house, singing while I walked my puppy, in movies, on outings, they were everywhere. A few days after the vision of the woman/dog in my bedroom some nights ago, I visited a store. As I was already standing in line waiting to pay for my items, when I suddenly felt a strong pull. A force I couldn’t resist wanted me to leave the pay isle and go back a few lanes to where the merchandise was. On a shelf were some seasonal decorations and on that shelf were 2 little black crows. Needless to say I purchased them as well, and they are now perched upon my bedroom dresser mirror.

Now what does all this mean? Are the crows related to the vision of the woman and the dog/wolf? I needed to be sure, so I consulted with some women I trust, who happen to be daughters of Hecate. Based on my descriptions of what I saw, how I felt and the experience as a whole, it seems that this indeed was The Goddess of the Underworld herself, Hecate.

HECATE, Hekate, Heket, The Distant One, The Far Darter, Queen of Night, Night Mother, Queen of the Ghosts, Queen of the Witches, Mother of Witches, Mistress of Magic, Most Lovely One, Goddess of Paths, Goddess of Crossroads, Goddess of Transitions, The One before the Gate.

Heka means “magical speech” in Egyptian while Hekate means “influence from afar” in Greek. The latter attribution is due to her ability to
use magic upon a person from a distance. Hence the appellations “Far Darter” and “The Distant One” given to Hekate.

I am now aware of Hecate. I don’t know if her appearance was  a welcoming gesture or that of a longer stay. This I will see and recognize in due time. For now, I just say, “I am now aware of Hecate.”

Image I created that closely depicts how I see Hecate.

Drawing Down the Moon

All ye assembled at mine shrine, Mother Darksome and Divine.

Mine the Scourge and mine the Kiss, Here I charge you in this sign.

All you assembled in my sight, Bow before my spirit bright.

Aphrodite, Arianhod, Lover of the Horned God.

Mighty Queen of Witchery and night,

Morgan, Erione, Nisene, Diana, Brighid, Melusine,

Am I named of old by men, Artemis and Cerridwen,

Hell’s dark mistress, Heaven’s Queen.

Ye who ask of me a rune, Or would ask of me a boon,

Meet me in some secret glade, Dancing round in greenwood shade.

By the light of the Full Moon.

In a place wild and lone, Dance about mine altar stone,

Work my holy mystery, Ye who are feign to sorcery.

I bring ye secrets yet unknown.

No more shall ye know slavery, who give true worship unto me.

Ye who tread my round on Sabbat night,

come ye naked to my rite, in token that ye be really free.

I teach ye the mystery of rebirth, work ye my mysteries in mirth.

Heart joined to heart and lip to lip,

five are the points of fellowship,

that bring ye ecstasy on earth,

for I am the circle of rebirth.

I ask no sacrifice, but do vow,

no other Law but love I know,

By naught but love may I be known.

All things living are mine own,

from me they come, to me they go.

I invoke Thee and call upon Thee Mighty Mothers of us all.

Bringer of Fruitfulness by seed and by root.

I invoke Thee by stem and bud.

I invoke Thee by life and love

and call upon Thee to descend into the body

of this Thy Priestess and Servant.

Hear with her ears, speak with her tongue,

touch with her hands, kiss with her lips,

that thy servants may be fulfilled.

~ words by Jessie Wicker Bell, The Grimoire of Lady Sheba, 1974 ~

A Drink from the Scarlet’s Chalice

“I am the dowghter of fortitude & ravyshed every howr, from my youth, for behold, I am understanding & science dwelleth in me & the hevens oppress me, They covet an desyre me with infinite appetite few or none that are erthly have embraced me, for I am shadowed with the circle of the sonne; and covered with the morning clouds: My feet are swifter that the wynds & my hands are sweter than the morning dew.”

Babalon is The Great Mother, the Mother of Abominations, the Sacred Whore, the Mother of Harlots, she is Mystery, she is the Scarlet Woman.

“This is how Babalon works, the destruction of morality and the release of psychosexual energy into mystical illumination.” pg 108 Peter Grey’s The Red Goddess

The lurid and provocative descriptions of the Red Goddess have helped me form a more concrete image of the goddess symbols in my own workings. You see, coming more from the heart than from the head, The Red Goddess is not just Grey’s devotion to the Scarlet Woman, it is itself a talisman. If nothing else it is challenging, uncompromising, sarcastic and insightful, and at times downright funny, but always providing the clear message, “Let Go“!

Babalon is Rising! Babalon “is a power that comes out of the past and resonates into the now with the compelling song of the witch woman. She is both the primal form of the Goddess from the far distant past and the most modern icon of post-human style” (p2). His passion for the Holy Whore shines through on each page.

The call to Babalon is key in present day. It is essential in reclaiming female power. Of course, women can’t flock to temples and set up camp as Holy Whores in this day and age without being arrested, but a definite change in the way women see themselves, and in the way men see women, would be a start. Every woman can invoke the Holy Whore into her life with pleasure. The Sacred Prostitute is a woman who has reclaimed herself and has reconnected with her will. Most importantly, she is a woman who has reclaimed the sacredness of her body.

InLore                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Enochian is a name applied to an occult or angelic language recorded in the private journals of Dr. John Dee and his seer Edward Kelley in the late 16th century. The men claimed that it was revealed to them by angels. Some contemporary scholars of magic consider it a constructed language. It is believed, by some, to be the only way to communicate with the Scarlet Woman. Aleister Crowley conducted invocations using the Enochian System of Magick that led to his book, The Vision and The Voice, consisting of chronicals of his mystical journey.

In Crowley’s, Book of Lies, he dedicated chapter 49 called ‘Waratah Blossoms’ to Babalon.

Seven are the veils of the dancing-girl in the harem of IT.  Seven are the names, and seven are the lamps beside Her bed. Seven eunuchs guard Her with drawn swords; No Man may come nigh unto Her.  In Her wine-cup are seven streams of the blood of the Seven Spirits of God. Seven are the heads of THE BEAST whereon She rideth. The head of an Angel: the head of a Saint: the head of a Poet: the head of An Adulterous  Woman: the head of a Man of Valour: the head of a Satyr: and the head of a Lion-Serpent. Seven letters hath Her holiest name; and it is This is the Seal upon the Ring that is on the Fore-finger of IT: and it is the Seal upon the Tombs of them whom She hath slain. Here is Wisdom.  Let Him that hath Understanding count the Number of Our Lady; for it is the Number of a Woman; and Her Number is An Hundred and Fifty and Six. 

Who is to drink of the Chalice of Ecstacy? The Whore, Babalon, shares her sacred elixir with all who dare savor its hidden delights through the purity of heart and transparency of soul. For me, the Chalice of Ecstasy is the fruit of the Tree of Initiation. I drink the nectar of transformation.

The day when BABALON reaches for me, She will touch a place which is not quite flesh. This place is fluid and constantly changing. She will push me over the edge and I will fly to meet Her. In that moment, I will have felt the yielding of myself to a force which is a part of me but which I cannot quite grasp. I will allow myself the freedom to be exactly who I am without fear of disapproval.  BABALON will reinforce the strength that I sometimes forget I have. She will enhance the Woman-Essence that is me. She will help me experience some of the more hidden and shadowy parts of myself: my creativity, my sexuality, my anger but also my joy, love and celebration of living on the Earth.

Hear the charge of the Goddess, “To Me! To Me!”  As she beckons to those who wish to be free; Calling Her children from hither and yon! I raise up the cup and adore Babalon!  ~ In Nomine Babalon: 156 Adorations to the Scarlet Goddess

I’ve been hearing whispers, and although I cannot make out the words, I feel the weight of their importance. Soon, She will roar through me. Soon my words will be Her words. Soon, there will be only Her.

Babalon Rising!

Love is the Law! Love under will!

The Charge of the Goddess

Listen to the words of the Great Mother, who was of old also called Artemis; Astarte; Diana; Melusine; Aphrodite; Cerridwen; Dana; Arianrhod; Isis; Bride; and by many other names.

Whenever ye have need of anything, once in a month, and better it be when the Moon be full, then, ye shall assemble in some secret place and adore the spirit of me, who am Queen of all Witcheries.

There shall ye assemble, ye who are fain to learn all sorcery, yet have not yet won its deepest secrets: to these will I teach things that are yet unknown.

And ye shall be free from slavery; and as a sign that ye are really free, ye shall be naked in your rites; and ye shall dance, sing, feast, make music and love, all in my praise.

For mine is the ecstasy of the spirit and mine also is joy on earth; for my Law is Love unto all Beings.

Keep pure your highest ideal; strive ever toward it; let naught stop you or turn you aside.

For mine is the secret door which opens upon the Land of Youth; and mine is the Cup of the Wine of Life, and the Cauldron of Cerridwen, which is the Holy Grail of Immortality.

I am the Gracious Goddess, who gives the gift of joy unto the heart. Upon earth, I give the knowledge of the spirit eternal; and beyond death, I give peace, and freedom, and reunion with those who have gone before. Nor do I demand sacrifice, for behold I am the Mother of All Living, and my love is poured out upon the earth.

Hear ye the words of the Star Goddess, she in the dust of whose feet are the hosts of heaven; whose body encircleth the Universe; I, who am the beauty of the green earth, and the white Moon among the stars, and the mystery of the waters, and the heart’s desire, call unto thy soul. Arise and come unto me.

For I am the Soul of Nature, who giveth life to the universe; from me all things proceed, and unto me must all things return; and before my face, beloved of gods and mortals, thine inmost divine self shall be unfolded in the rapture of infinite joy.

Let my worship be within the heart that rejoiceth, for behold: all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. And therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honour and humility, mirth and reverence within you. And thou who thinkest to seek for me, know thy seeking and yearning shall avail thee not, unless thou know this mystery: that if that which thou seekest thou findest not within thee, thou wilt never find it without thee.

For behold, I have been with thee from the beginning; and I am that which is attained at the end of desire.

 

~ The Charge of the Goddess by Doreen Valiente, as adapted by Starhawk ~